The 5 Kinds of People You’re Likely to Find at the Strippers

Melbourne Strippers are famous for attracting an interesting mob of different souls on any given night. From the regulars, to the first timers, whatever your reason for blessing the strippers with your presence, you’re likely to find a few of the same clichés no matter which venue you visit.

The creeper lurking in the shadows

Typically found in the darkest corner of the venue with one hand dangerously close to slipping beneath his belt line at all times, this character is what you’d call your lone wolf. Unless of course they’re the sort who prefers giving themselves over the pants HJs whilst watching the show with their closest buddies around.

The woo boy sitting front and centre

Whether riding solo or with literally anyone he can scrounge up from off the street, this party boy will make his presence known by a series of obnoxious catcalls, woos or guttural yeahs!! Whether a Saturday night or a Tuesday afternoon, the conforming restrictions of the modern calendar mean nothing to this one-man force of nature. You’ll often find this sloppy unit setting up base camp in the best seat in the house and guarding it with his life. He’ll then settle in for the long haul, taking advantage of those free dances whilst none too subtly suggesting the girls continue the party back at his place.

The cool girl

Every girl wants to the cool girl whether they admit it or not. The type of girl who can drink beer with the boys, talk smack about ladies and party with the best of them. She’ll be the first one to suggest ending the night at the strippers, and the last one to leave after having shouted all her best boys a lappy. Either that, or she just really likes boobs more than you do.

The rowdy bunch

Picture the woo boy, but nine or ten of them. This pack of liquored up, loose lipped lads have probably just finished up the footy season on a high. Or maybe straight from a bachelor’s party or been drinking since 4 in the afternoon. Known in the adult entertainment world, a cash cow. They might think they’re the kings of the world at the time but by the end of the night they’re the ones with the empty wallets and  low bank accounts.

The sensitive guy

This modern day Casanova is on a quest for true love. Maybe he’s had one too many breakups and doesn’t understand why his exes always leave him for total douche bags. Or maybe he’s just lonely. Either way, this sweetie pie won’t want to objectify the dancers. He will try to relate to them whilst buying them drinks and talking about his feelings. The girls will smile and nod and tell him how much of a nice guy he is. He will join the confused rabble of drunken men staggering home at closing time wondering how his wallet got so light.

 

One thought on “The 5 Kinds of People You’re Likely to Find at the Strippers

  1. No mention of the bunch of lads that just lover the strippers? No strings attached, good fun over a bottle vodka! Think Tyrion Lannester – “at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls…”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *